


we always have time

by deanisbiandmetoo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, First Kiss, First Time, I Don't Even Know, Jack Kline Has a Soul, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Sharing a Bed, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24148105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanisbiandmetoo/pseuds/deanisbiandmetoo
Summary: The night Jack has his soul back, he apologizes about Mary's death. Dean doesn't know what to do so he just runs away. When Dean goes back to the bunker, he realizes he has a lot of things to change, starting with his relationship with Cas.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	we always have time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first time I post something here, so I apologize if there's something I'm doing wrong. I apologize for the typos, my mother language is not English and I don't even know what I'm doing, DWJPS this is for you.

Dean doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say. He can't move, he can't speak. He can't even think. He just stands there, listening Jack sobbing and begging for his forgiveness. Jack has a soul again, now he truly realizes what he did. And Dean can't even move. It was easier when Jack came back with no soul because he could act like it wasn't that boy the one who accidentally killed his mother. But now, it's different. He wants to move, to do something, to even say something. But no words come out, he's paralyzed.  
Suddenly he feels his phone buzzing, and apparently it's a text from Jody. She's asking him for help with a vampire's nest. Yes, he can do that.  
Bless her, now he can run away.  
\- It's Jody, she needs me with a vampire thing. I... I'll be back in a few hours.

The bunker is now quiet, Castiel is reading. Jack is sleeping and so is Sam. Today has been tough. He hears the door opening and closing, but he pays no attention. He knows it's Dean, but he doesn't want to greet him. He's mad, they needed him to be there, he needed him, and Dean left. He knows he left because of Jody, but he also knows that Dean left happily. Now they're good again, they're not in the best state of their relationship, Cas learned years ago that they'll never be. But he's grateful they can drink, talk or just hang out again without all the residual feelings of their fight.  
\- Hey Cas.  
Cas sighs, Dean sounds tired, sad and even regretful.  
\- Hello, Dean. How was the hunt?  
\- It went well.  
\- Did you go to see Claire and the girls?You came back later than usual.  
\- No, I didn't. I was, you know, driving around, I needed time alone.  
\- Oh, I see.  
Dean disappears and comes back a few minutes later with more comfortable clothes and two beers.  
\- What are you reading?  
He says as the sits next to Cas. Maybe he sits too close to the angel, but neither of them say nothing against that.  
\- It's a something Eileen gave me, it's about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. There are werewolves too.  
\- Cas, are you really reading Twilight? - Dean says, laughing in a way Cas hadn't heard in a couple of years.  
\- I am, I've already read all the books in the bunker, so Eileen gave me these. When Metatron introduced me all the popular books, I must say that I found the saga interesting. So yes, I'm reading them.  
\- Well, I'm not gonna lie, man. I've seen the films.  
\- Dean, are we not going to talk about what happened later?  
\- Cas, buddy, what you want me to say? Jody needed me so I left. I don't know how to handle Jack's situation yet, so I came back here directly.  
Again, Dean sounded sad, so even when Castiel knows he won't answer with the truth, he asks.  
\- Are you okay?  
Dean looks down at his beer.  
\- No, but I don't want to talk about it.  
\- Dean.  
\- It's just... for me, Jack's a son. I really care about him, you know that, but I don't know what to do.  
\- We have time to figure things out, but we need to be together in this, we are a family.  
Dean seems touched by the words when he looks at the angel's eyes. How many things have changed within the years Dean doesn't know, but what hasn't changed is the power that Castiel's eyes have. Dean is grateful for the fact that he still can lose himself in those eyes he loves so much.  
\- Yes, we are. You're right.  
They stay in comfortable silence drinking until Dean speaks again.  
\- Jack knows that, right?  
\- I told him you need time, he doesn't like that, but he understands.  
\- Okay. And do you know that... - Dean seems to lose the capacity of speaking for what feels like hours- that I care about you too, right?  
Again, Cas sighs.  
\- Yes, Dean. I know that.  
\- Cas, man, I'm-  
\- Stop. That's in the past.  
The silence continues for a couple of minutes.  
\- What are you going to do after the Chuck's thing?  
Cas didn't expect that question, but he's grateful for the change of subject.  
\- I was planning to not start another godly problem again.  
\- No, I mean it. What do you want to do when this ends?  
Cas doesn't want to think about the future, he knows one way or another, he'll be gone.  
\- Easy, I want to be with you and with Jack. He still has a lot of thing to learn, so I'll start with that.  
\- So you're not going anywhere, are you?  
Cas hates lying to Dean.  
\- Of course not.- He smiles.  
\- Hey, do you want to watch something on Netflix?  
\- Dean, you should sleep.  
\- C'mon buddy, I'm not tired, let's do something.  
\- Okay.

The next days are very enjoyable. Dean spends most of his time with Castiel. Drinking, watching tv, reading, or they just stay in the same room in silence doing research. Things with Jack are going well too. Sam and Cas are glad about it. Dean has been touching him more than usual too, Cas noticed but didn't comment on it. They're waiting for Billie to instruct them with the next step of the plan, but she doesn't.  
One night Dean invites Cas to watch a film in his bedroom, and Cas accepts happily. When the film is about to end, Cas feels something bumping on his shoulder. Dean's fallen asleep with his head on Castiel's left shoulder.  
Castiel just stays there, watching the film and when it ends, he carefully pulls Dean under the mattress. He grabs the laptop they've used to watch the film and is about to leave the room when Dean speaks.  
\- Stay.- He begs, Dean lifts the mattress and taps the pillow, indicating Cas to lay there. And so does the angel. He takes off his trenchcoat and his shoes before occupying the place next to Dean.  
Dean puts his head in Castiel's chest and tangles his limbs around Cas. It's not the first time they do that. There're nights when Dean just can't sleep, and Cas is always there to comfort him. Now he's caressing Dean's head as he feels Dean falling asleep again. Cas spends the next month's nights with Dean.

One night Cas feels Dean trembling. He must have a nightmare right now, so he uses his grace to introduce himself in Dean's subconscious because that's what he always do when nightmares happen.  
Cas can't see anything, it's dark and lonely, as in the Empty. Cas is scared for a minute until he feels Dean's hand in his shoulder.  
\- You've come.- Dean says.  
\- I always come when you call, remember?  
\- Yes, thank you.  
\- Where do you want to go this time?  
\- Let's go to the lake.  
They close their eyes and when they open them again, they're surrounded by nature. Dean grabs Casitel's hand and they sit on a bank.  
\- Cas, I need to tell you something.  
\- What it is, Dean?  
\- Cas.- Dean lifts Castiel's chin and cups his cheeks with his hands. They just stare at each other's eyes without speaking. After a few minutes that feel like years, Dean kisses Castiel's lips softly. But Cas needs more, so he kisses Dean, this time Cas is in control. That kiss last longer and it's more passionate.  
They take their time, kissing the other when all that they have. When they stop kissing, Dean speaks again.  
\- I'm sorry, Cas. I need you to understand that I did what I did because I want you to be okay. I want you to be fine.  
\- Dean, what are you taking about?  
\- I'm talking about everything, Cas. About the last twelve years. Since we met, you've been the thing that keep me going. Without you, I'm lost. Without you, I can't live. Do you remember what I asked you the night that I left?  
\- You asked me about what I wanted to do after the thing with Chuck ended.  
\- Yes, I did. Now I'm asking you, what makes you happy?  
\- You. - Cas answers without having to think, he always knew that his happiness belongs to Dean.  
\- Well, then let's enjoy this.  
Dean wakes up and they start kissing again and this time they don't stop until both of them reach their climax.

Dean is drawing circles on Castiel's bare chest when he says it.  
\- I love you. I always have.  
\- I know, Dean. I love you too.  
Dean holds him even tighter than before.  
\- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my endless existence, so thank you.  
\- I love you so much.  
Dean hides his head in the crock of Castiel's neck and starts crying.  
\- What's happens, Dean?  
\- I'm going to miss you.  
\- What?  
\- Let me hug you a bit longer, I'll explain later.  
\- Okay.  
A few minutes have passed when Dean speaks again.  
\- Cas, I know about the Empty.  
\- How-?  
\- Chuck told me.  
\- What-?  
\- Chuck told me the night I was on a hunt with Jody. Chuck told me because the wanted me to do something, so I could save you.  
Cas can feel his blood running cold.  
\- What did you do, Dean?  
\- He had killed Billie. Chuck knew about our little plan. I didn't tell any of you because I wanted to enjoy the days Chuck gave me.  
\- The days Chuck gave you? What's going on, Dean?  
\- I'm going to die tonight.  
\- What the fuck are you talking about, Dean?  
\- No, Cas. It's okay.  
\- No, Dean, it's not.  
\- Listen, please. Chuck knows about us helping Jack becoming strong enough to kill him, so he asked me to stop. He asked me to die, so he wouldn't have to worry about the Winchesters starting anything again. At first, he wanted Sammy dead too. But I convinced him that Sam wouldn't do anything if I asked him to. I talked to him, that's why we left a week ago when we stayed out a few days. Eileen is moving here tomorrow. That's why he left this morning. And Jack is with Michael right now. I trust Adam, they'll teach Jack how to use his powers, but they won't forget he's half human too. And you can stay here with them. Chuck told me that I'll go to Heaven, but I'm not sure if that's true. He promised me that he would left, that all of you would be okay, if I don't live again, and I said yes. Earth is safe now, Chuck's gone again, Hell has Rowena, Heaven has Michael, Sammy has Eileen and you have Jack, if you ask me, I'd say it's a damn well deal, better that the one you did.  
\- But you have nothing then, and I made my deal to save Jack, you know that.  
\- And I made mine to save everything, it's a fair one.  
\- But what about you?  
\- I don't matter, Cas.  
\- You matter to me, Dean.  
\- Well, you'll be fine, and that's what matters to me.  
\- Dean, I won't be fine if I you're not with me.  
\- Maybe, but you'll be alive.  
At some point they have sited on the mattress and both of them have tears in their eyes.  
\- I love you, Cas. I love you with all that I have, you have been everything to me since so long ago I don't remember how my life was when I didn't know you existed. So when Chuck told me that he was leaving, that he killed Billie and that the only way to keep you around was giving up my life... what would you have done if you were in my place?  
\- I would have talked to you.  
\- We both know that isn't true.  
\- I didn't tell you about my deal because I didn't want to add a burden on your shoulders.  
\- I get it, Cas, I really do. I'm not mad because I've done the same. I wanted to enjoy the time I have left with you, and with our family.  
\- So, this is goodbye, then?  
\- We can't know that, Castiel.  
\- Then let me hug you a little longer.  
Castiel doesn't know how, but he fell asleep. When he woke up, Dean wasn't breathing.  
Dean was gone.  
He doesn't know for how longer he cried embracing Dean's body.  
Sam knocked at the door.  
They burnt Dean's body.  
The funeral was beautiful, all of Dean's friends and family came. Michael told them Dean's soul was in Heaven, and Cas felt like he could breathe for the first time since Dean told him that he was going to die.  
He stayed in the bunker a couple of weeks, helping Sam and Jack, they helped him too. One day Jack told him that he could go to see Dean.  
But Cas didn't do it. He knew that in the moment that he saw Dean, he could never leave Heaven again.  
So he waited a couple of years, until Jack was old enough he didn't need him around all the time.  
Sam and Eileen had kids and they raised them well, out of the hunting life.  
Michael became a friend and even family to them, Adam too.  
Cas was right, when he saw Dean again, it felt like he was meeting him for the first time. But it was him.  
His human was waiting for him.  
They all were happy.


End file.
